Adventures in Cancerland!
So much is going on it has been difficult to keep this blog up. So, to bring you up to date:
About 2 weeks ago I was relaxing one night when I started getting this pain in my side chest, just above the liver, that was kind of sharp every time I took a breath. I noticed that if I sat up straight the pain went away. However, through the night the pain progressed regardless of position. By morning I got up and said to the wife that I needed to get to the hospital. The pain was so intense that I became short of breath and really could not catch my breath. Every short sip of air was just killing me.
So, I go to the emergency room and start feeling little better. They think its cardiac and begin all the ekg and other work ups. I also am running my usual fever of about 102. So, I get admitted and end up staying in the hospital for a damn week! My first day, Dr. Personality, the emergency room doc comes to see me bedside. He is one of these guys that seems to know a little about a lot of things but not a lot about any particular thing. So, he starts spouting off about how my ekg was not quite normal and that maybe I will be looking at a bypass or angioplasty in a couple weeks and I know its liver and not heart. Dr. Giggles goes on to say ”what kind of prognosis does you onc give you.” In other words, am I going to be dead soon because we don’t want to waste precious cardiac resources. What a pick me up. To top it off, I was giving Dr. Feelgood my history as to the fever and said “just last night my fever was 102″ to which he responded “fahrenheit?” Are you shitting me? No, Celsius. My body combusted into flames and I had to stop drop and roll just to get my temperature to come down. My onc and other docs quickly ruled out heart or blood clot problems and I was let go from the hospital with some high doses of antibiotic to get the fever down. I am coming to find that you do not have to be as smart as I thought to become a doctor.
Also while in the hospital my doctor was giving me a hard time about not eating. I just have not had the appetite. So, he prescribes 
marinol to see if that will help. For those that do not know, Marinol is a marijuana derivative that is supposed to give you traditional munchies and help with nausea and such. So, the nurse is giving me first treatment and which point I break out into a stirring rendition of Buffalo Soldier. Unfortunately, the nurse is unfamiliar with the drug and does not know Bob Marley. The humor was completely lost. Having taken the drug, I cannot say that I am that impressed. Bob is probably rolling over in his grave seeing what they have done to his precious herb.
So, after a brief one day stay at home I was whisked to SLC for my first round of of Sir Sphere therapy. I love my interventional radiologist up there. I tell him that I am retaining some water since being in the hospital and he says “lets git rid of it.” So he adds on a periocentises to get rid of the water for me. The Sir Sphere treatment is quick, easy, without a hitch. You barely know that you have been through a procedure. The radiation is kind of fun because now I can run around the office threatening to sterilize everyone if they get to close. Frankly, sterilizing everyone in my office would probably be good for the gene pool.
“Get up stand up . . . stand up for your rights!”
May 28th, 2010 at 8:19 pm
Now that was classic Matt! Un-fucking-believable! i do find that after awhile you discover that most docs are more like the Great Oz once the Curtain of Invincibility is pulled back. Damn! I just cancelled a scheduled cardio-angioplasty today because I’m tired of having stuff not connected to a mouth jammed up my groin. Now I read this and feel like a real fuckin’ wimp!
Drop and roll to get your temp down! that is too good, what a great comeback!
Thea had her PET done today and I think there will be an article in this months Family Circle.
Your tenacity really inspires, I think if you could you would pull the tumors out of your liver on your own and then have a cigar with a fine Chianti.
May 29th, 2010 at 10:03 am
Thanks for the update Matt. Despite all you have been through, your sense of humor lives on - that’s very cool. I agree about the doctors. #1 - no, they don’t need to be as smart as we once thought. #2 - absolutely no sense of humor in the hospital. I keep telling them I’ve been there so often they should give me a punch card - you know, after 10 visits I get a free X-Ray or something. Nothing……
I hope the SIR therapy gives you some relief. My next CT is next week to see what’s up with my lungs. My chest feels a little like someone is sitting on it (not bad - very minor) and I have a cough - but I also have a little sore throat. Who knows.
Just read Tom’s comment - the Great Oz - yup, that about says it all!
May 30th, 2010 at 2:12 am
Matt - you make me laugh every tme I read your blog. Stop, drop and roll! If it makes you feel better, your Buffalo Soldier joke cracked me up. Can you make pot brownies with marinol? Hmmmmm, experiment?
May 30th, 2010 at 11:11 pm
What the f#ck over. Who is the damn bastard that invented a drug that does everything that weed does…EXCEPT the Marley effect? That’s just stupid. I mean, I get it - smoking as a drug delivery method will never be acceptable by any real doctors - but come on man, we’re going through all this bullsh$t, can a brother get a little chronic while we’re still here?
Later
RH
June 1st, 2010 at 3:08 pm
So if I get this straight, they still have no idea what was going on with you except you were in pain, and it wasn’t your heart.
Doh!
Sometimes it’s hard to believe certain folks ARE doctors. It’s such a pleasant surprise to find one who’s knowledgeable, articulate, genuinely compassionate and who doesn’t say sh*t they shouldn’t say until they’ve got cancer and have thought about it from the other side of the medical chart.
Thanks for making me laugh. You always do!
Glad to hear SIR spheres weren’t a big deal…keep us posted on how they zap the bastards in your liver.
June 1st, 2010 at 9:58 pm
Nice to see your spirits up Matt, I think about you often and hope it goes well.
I also hope you’ve had an opportunity to use some good cannabis, I was given Marinol and hated it.
Hang in there, will be watching for you!
–Jeff