Christmas Colonoscopy

So, I had the procedure up at Huntsman Cancer last Friday.  An interventional radiologist created a drain from my bile duct to my bowel to allow for internal draining, so I do not have a permanent external drain.  However, he did install a permanent valve coming out of my gut that could be hooked to a bag for external draining if needs be.  I was awake during this procedure which kind of blows.  In any event they did a good job and bile in draining.  However, when I got home Sunday and early Monday I developed a mean fever and have been in a lot more pain than I expected.  Some heavy antibiotics have kept the temp down, but I have been carrying around the external bile bag.  I should be able to switch it out in the next day or two.

As I have stated, Huntsman is by far the best hospital I have ever had the pleasure to stay in.  Its like a Marriott.  I only stayed one night and my brother came by to visit.  I perused the room service menu and ordered the sirloin with baked potato and a strawberry milkshake.  “Any thing for desert?”  of course . . . I will have the key lime pie.  By this time my brother could hardly contain the laughter but when I asked to see a wine list he really lost it.  Great food and a really great place to be a patient.

So, next stop is Sir Sphere therapy probably in April.  I’ll keep you posted.

So, over the weekend I dove into working on my ‘71 VW Bus that I am attempting to restore.  During the process I took a little break.  I was sitting in my garage, doing body work, drinking a Miller High Life (not Genuine Draft, not Miller Lite, High Life, the Champagne of Beers) out of a 24 oz. can mind you, smoking a cigar and wearing sweat pants.  My hell, I am white trash.

On a side note, colon cancer patients regularly experience irregularity.  It has been more than one month since I took a regular shit.  I’m either constipated or shooting vapor out my ass.  It has been even worse since the stent placement in my liver for some reason.  After chemo I always have five days of constipation and squeezing out rocks.  I’m really talking rocks.  In fact, I’m saving some of the shit to use as body filler in my bus as it is more durable than the original sheet metal.  Then, after 5 to 8 days of constipation I switch gears to the runs.  Now, I’m not trying to justify my irresponsible behavior here, but whenever I smoke a cigar it gets the bowels moving.  I mean within 2 minutes I’m ready to hit the bathroom.  Is there something medicinal here?

I would love for my docs to start prescribing cigars.