Christmas Colonoscopy

The day is near.  Tomorrow I will be travelling and not likely finding time to post.  On Thursday they will be removing about one-half of my liver.

I’m still pretty freaked out on this one.  However, I keep telling myself that I have a good doc that does this all the time.  NO big deal. 

However, it didn’t help that my local news just ran a story talking about the astonishing number of deaths and injuries due to hospital fuck-ups.  Thanks alot.  Good timing you pricks.  Not only that the constant teaser made me stay up until well after 10 PM to learn exactly what these fuck-ups are.  Kind of like “something might kill you instantly . . . tune in at 10 to find out what it is.”  Bastards.

So, will I survive the surgery?  Tune in next week to find out.  If you have not heard from me by a week from tomorrow I’m probably dead, but don’t sweat it.

Sorry to leave you hangin RH.  I went to the Cancer center, talked to the expert, and he told me the same thing.  “Lets cut out half of your liver.”  Not what you want to hear, but you know what you have to do.  So, I’m going under the knife on July 2.

This one has me scared.  I’ve really never got too worked up over surgery.  But this seems big.  The doc indicated that in very rare, very few, circumstances the other half of your liver decides not to work when you cut it in half.  In which case, I’m not a candidate for transplant, so I’m screwed.  I’m probably obsessing a little as you look around Colon Club and people are getting this shit done all the time.

The title of this article is one of my favorite Seinfeld lines.  Jerry and Kramer get the oppotunity to observe an operation of some “fat bastard.”  Kramer is eating Junior Mints during the procedure and when he offers one to Jerry it gets knocked into the operative site.  Then there is a miraculous recovery. I can only hope that someone drops a Junior Mint in my while I’m under.

Apparantly I am.  I don’t know where this cheezy saying came from, but it fits.

I havn’t posted for a while, but plenty is going on.  We skipped Chemo Round 7 which puts me about 3 weeks post chemo and I’m feeling pretty good.  We skipped to look at the possibilities of liver surgery.  I have about 3 fairly small (less than 2 cm) tumors on my liver they would like to get rid of.  I live in a somewhat rural area and have only one doc in town that does this.  He wants to resect about 1/2 of my liver.  Frankly, this scares the shit out of me.

So, I am heading this week for a several hour drive to get a 2nd opinion at the Huntsman Cancer Institute in Salt Lake City.  From what I have read and heard, my local doc is probably correct in his diagnosis.  If the 2nd opinion doc agrees then I am probably looking at surgery 2 to 3 weeks out.

Don’t pray for me, just cross your fingers.  Crossing finger is just as beneficial as prayer with less effort.